Accept Love emerged as a feeling I experienced watching athletes perform their skills with perfect tempo, form, and intensity - that magical moment when acceptance transforms into something deeper.

I see it in the powerful turn off the bottom of the west peak at Sunset Beach by BK (Barry Kanaiaupuni), where technical mastery and ocean attunement become one fluid expression.

Barry Kanaiaupuni: Embodying Acceptance & Love Through Surfing

A truly remarkable friend and athlete. As Bruce Brown famously noted in "The Endless Summer," "Barry Kanaiaupuni, the man with a turn we'd all like to learn." Barry possessed an unmatched ability to surf West swells at Sunset Beach—turning with extraordinary power and precision while making it appear effortless, though it never was. He embraced challenges wholeheartedly and savored every moment in the water. Barry Kanaiaupuni's surfing journey exemplifies how acceptance and love transcend mere emotions to become active approaches to life—transforming difficulties into opportunities for growth and joy.

It's visible in the remarkable strength of young swimmer Kathy Shipman, whose movements through water embodied both power and grace in perfect harmony.

Kathy Shipman: Embodying Acceptance & Love through Ocean Athletics

As a kid, she swam harder and faster than most. At 12, she won the women's portion of the rough water swim and placed 5th overall. She swam competitely through college, played volleyball on a whim, and went on to be the most athletic Ocean Athlete, excelling in surfing, paddling, foiling, and winning way more than her share.

Kathy's journey exemplifies acceptance and love through everything she attempts. Kathy brings her full self—swimming harder, competing fiercely, and loving every minute—showing that acceptance means engaging completely with whatever you choose to pursue.

Kathy's athletic versatility stands as a testament to what becomes possible when we accept new challenges with enthusiasm and approach competition with genuine love for the experience itself.

Steinwell Metzger: Embodying Acceptance & Love through Beach Volleyball

As a player (individual and team) and a coach, Steinwell continues to generate the most energy, a function of his ability to accept challenges of any kind—from high school to college, to the pro beach, and then to college coaching as the head beach coach at UCLA and now at Texas.

Rather than resisting change, he welcomes new challenges with enthusiasm, whether competing himself or guiding others. His coaching philosophy demonstrates love as he creates environments where athletes can develop their full potential.

His approach brings out the best energy and biggest smile that brings joy to all who have the privilege and pleasure to be in his presence—a testament to how acceptance and love can transform not only personal performance but elevate everyone around you.

Lindsey Berg: Embodying Acceptance & Love Through Playing Volleyball with leadership and heart.

From fifth grade phenom to three-time Olympian, Lou's volleyball journey was extraordinary. Through Minnesota, the national team, and winning Olympic silver medals, her greatest gift was making everyone around her better—coaches had to leave her on the court because her acceptance of teammates and love for the game elevated everyone's performance.

Rather than demanding perfection, she created an atmosphere where growth was celebrated and mistakes became learning opportunities. Her love for volleyball transformed routine practices into passionate pursuits of excellence. This combination of acceptance and love didn't just make Lou an exceptional player—it made her the heart of every team, creating an environment where everyone performed at their best and found joy in the journey together. Her legacy proves that true greatness comes not just from physical talent but from the ability to lift others through genuine acceptance and love.

These moments aren't just displays of athletic excellence; they're glimpses into a profound relationship between athlete and discipline. What follows is an exploration of this journey from acceptance to love, and how it transforms not just performance, but the person.

The Ability to Prepare for What's Expected

Understanding Acceptance in Practice: Acceptance is active engagement with reality. When an athlete accepts the demands of their sport, they aren't just tolerating them; they're embracing them as essential elements of their journey. A swimmer acknowledges the 5 AM wake-up calls and countless laps as necessary stepping stones rather than burdens. A surfer welcomes stormy ocean conditions as opportunities to refine technique in challenging environments. A foiler embraces the repeated falls during learning as valuable feedback rather than failures. Readiness develops through pratice routines that signal your mind it's time to engage, while adaptation requires an honest assessment of conditions and capabilities.

True commitment manifests practice schedules that deal with mood fluctuations. When faced with setbacks, resilience emerges from reflecting on how you've overcome previous obstacles. This foundation of acceptance creates the conditions for genuine engagement with the work ahead.

Making Hard Work Fun and Rewarding

The Psychology of Enjoyable Effort: When we shift our focus from outcome to process, hard work transforms from obligation into opportunity. The satisfaction derived from quality effort often exceeds the temporary pleasure of avoiding challenge. Consider the ocean swimmer who finds rhythm in the challenging currents rather than fighting against them. Or the foiler who breaks down the complex hydrofoil positioning into progressive skill components, celebrating each moment of extended flight time.

The element of play remains essential even in serious pursuit. By introducing elements of fun, personal challenges and persoanal rewards—training takes on new dimensions of engagement. Social connections built through shared difficulty make hard days lighter, while tracking progress documents improvements that might otherwise go unnoticed. At its core, this approach cultivates curiosity, approaching skills with a mindset of exploration rather than obligation.

Focusing on Proper Form and Technique

The Mindfulness of Mastery: Excellence emerges from attention to detail. By focusing on the specific sensations associated with proper execution, you create neural pathways that make technical precision increasingly automatic. A surfer notices the exact shift in weight distribution needed to carve through a critical section of the wave. A competitive swimmer attunes to the precise angle of hand entry that maximizes propulsion through the water. A foiler becomes sensitive to the subtle feedback from the board signaling the perfect balance point.

This sensory awareness develops a personal vocabulary for the physical sensations of correct technique. Mastery requires practicing skills at varying speeds to understand their mechanical components, with systematic intensity increases once form becomes consistent. The most advanced athletes learn to isolate components of complex movements for focused attention, creating a foundation for effortless execution when pressure mounts.

Entering the Battle Zone

Navigating Distraction and Finding Flow: What I call "battle" represents that critical threshold where external pressures and internal demands create the perfect conditions for transcendence. This state requires both acceptance of challenge and love of process. We see it when a big wave surfer maintains focus despite the roaring sound of a massive swell about to break. Or when an open water swimmer navigates changing conditions while maintaining efficient stroke mechanics. Or when a foiler instinctively adjusts to sudden wind shifts without breaking their flow.

Preparation for this state includes deliberate practice with simulated pressure and interruptions. Breath regulation develops patterns that trigger parasympathetic calm, while present-moment anchors—physical or verbal cues—bring attention back when it wanders. Perhaps most crucially, energy management teaches you to recognize and harness competitive arousal rather than fight it. When its time to battle, distractions signal the opportunities to deepen focus.

Love: Embracing the Journey

Cultivating Genuine Connection with Process: When acceptance evolves into love, practice becomes less about obligation and more about relationship. This emotional investment transforms ordinary participation into extraordinary performance. An ocean swimmer finds meditative joy in the rhythm of breathing patterns synchronized with stroke rate. A surfer develops an intuitive understanding of ocean swells that feels like a conversation with the water. A foiler experiences moments of flight that transcend the technical aspects and become pure expression.

This evolution begins with appreciation rituals—starting and ending sessions with gratitude for the opportunity to practice. It grows through systematic documentation and acknowledgment of small improvements. The TEAM aspect cannot be overlooked; relationships with mentors and peers who elevate standards foster this love. Regular reflection on aspects of training that generate authentic pleasure helps identify and amplify the most rewarding elements of practice.

When Energy Returns as Compassion

The Transformative Power of Purposeful Effort: The most profound aspect of mastery is how it changes not just performance but person. When effort is given wholeheartedly, it returns as expanded capacity for connection. An experienced surfer spontaneously offers wave positioning tips to beginners. A veteran open water swimmer shares hard-earned knowledge about reading ocean currents with newcomers. A skilled foiler demonstrates techniques with patience and enthusiasm rather than guarding their expertise.

This growth often manifests through teaching skills to others, which deepens your own understanding. It reshapes competitive mindsets, helping you view opponents as necessary partners in your development. It encourages consideration of how your practice contributes to your community's wellbeing. And perhaps most powerfully, it cultivates genuine gratitude for all who have contributed to your growth—coaches, teammates, rivals, and supporters alike.

Putting It All Together

The journey from acceptance to love creates a positive cycle where acceptance opens the door to meaningful engagement with necessary challenges. Hard work becomes sustainable when infused with enjoyment and purpose. Technical mastery emerges through mindful attention to subtle sensations, while the opportunity to battle becomes accessible through practiced focus amid distraction.

Mastering performance breathing becomes essential—using breath to settle your nervous system before competition, then breathing with passion during peak efforts. Learning to "breathe through your heart" helps digest the full spectrum of emotions, transforming anger to intensity to passion. This emotional alchemy allows you to accept even the hardest effort and simultaneously feel the profound love you have for your performance and the life that goes with it.

When you can breathe through the challenges rather than holding your breath against them, you discover that love transforms perspective by emphasizing process over outcome. Compassion develops naturally when effort is given and returned. What began as acceptance gradually blossoms into love—not just for the activity itself, but for the person you become through its pursuit.

Moving Forward: Personal Application

Consider where in your practice you need greater acceptance, and which parts already generate authentic joy. Notice the specific sensations that indicate proper technique, and observe how you currently respond to distractions. Reflect on moments where your effort transformed into compassion.

Embrace the necessary work of developing extreme fitness through deliberate training challenges. Expose yourself gradually to environmental stressors—cold water immersion, heat training, altitude exposure—to build physiological resilience. These controlled stressors not only strengthen your body but condition your mind's perception of what constitutes a true challenge. Incorporate breath work, fasting protocols, and varied training intensities to develop metabolic flexibility and mental fortitude.

Remember that resilience comes not from avoiding discomfort but from strategic recovery after purposeful exposure to it. Mental strength emerges from this cycle of stress and adaptation, creating an ever-expanding capacity for endurance both physical and psychological. The path to mastery requires this willingness to systematically challenge your perceived limitations while maintaining the awareness to distinguish between productive discomfort and injurious pain.

What one small change could help you better embrace both acceptance and love in your practice? The answers to these questions form your personal path from acceptance to love, through the power of purposeful effort.

Summary:

The Gift of Accept Love

“Accept Love is the recognition that our resistance to what is—to pain, to effort, to uncertainty—creates a second layer of suffering entirely of our own making. When we fully accept the present reality of our experience, something remarkable happens: the boundary between difficulty and joy begins to dissolve. What remains isn't merely endurance but a profound appreciation for the process itself. In that space of radical acceptance, love for the journey emerges naturally, and performance becomes an expression of that love rather than a desperate reaching for validation. This is the paradox at the heart of human excellence—that our greatest achievements come not when we're straining against reality, but when we're in complete harmony with it." —In the words of Sam Harris

Accept Love is ultimately a way to get better, a way to have more fun, and a way to make a difference.

A Way to Get Better: Consider Michael, a 45-year-old surfer who hit a plateau after two decades in the water. By embracing the Accept-Love approach, he stopped fighting against his aging body and instead accepted its changing capabilities. He focused intently on the sensations of proper technique rather than raw power, found joy in the process of refinement, and ultimately evolved into a more efficient, graceful surfer whose performance exceeded his younger days. His acceptance of reality transformed into a deeper love for surfing that transcended mere achievement.

A Way to Have More Fun: Look at Elena, a competitive open-water swimmer who had begun to dread her training sessions. When she adopted the Accept-Love mindset, she started appreciating the bite of cold water against her skin, the rhythm of her breathing, the community of fellow swimmers. Her acceptance of the demands became a way to rediscovering the joy that brought her to swimming initially. Training sessions transformed from obligations into adventures, and her performance improved naturally as a byproduct of her renewed enthusiasm.

A Way to Make a Difference: Both Michael and Elena found that their journey through Accept-Love naturally extended beyond themselves. Michael began mentoring young surfers, sharing not just technique but a philosophy of relationship with the ocean. Elena started organizing open-water events that connected swimmers to environmental causes. Their expanded capacity for acceptance and love didn't stay contained within their sports—it rippled outward, touching family relationships, professional challenges, and community engagement.

“Accept Love isn't just a performance philosophy; it's a life practice that transforms the person while elevating everyone on their team. The greatest athletes don't just perform differently; they exist differently. And in that transformation lies the true power of moving from acceptance to love. "Accept Love isn't just a philosophy of performance—it's a practice of presence. When we fully embrace both the challenges and joys of our chosen path, we discover that mastery isn't something we achieve but something we embody. The greatest athletes don't just perform differently; they exist differently. And in that transformation from acceptance to love lies the true power of human potential." — Duke Kahanamoku

Banner photo of Kalani Rivero at Tahiti's Teahupoʻo in 2020 by Elena Corvellec