In the spring of 1958, lacrosse came to Amityville Memorial High School. I was about to go out for baseball, but the prospect of playing an exciting new sport was too hard to resist. One of my best friends, Bob Boehnel, put it best: "Babe, you've got to come out, there's contact."

When I moved to switch from baseball to lacrosse, the Athletic Director informed me that I had to play baseball—I was the only catcher! After telling my parents, who had both graduated from Amityville High School, they arranged a special meeting. During this meeting, my mother simply explained to the AD, "I don't see why my son shouldn't be allowed to switch sports."

That decision changed everything. For the next two years, we played a style of lacrosse that lacked years of practice. We attempted to substitute contact for skill and subsequently never won a game, losing by huge margins.

Fast forward to today, and a dear member of our extended family plays for Cornell, which for the first time in nearly 18 years is ranked as men's lacrosse No. 1 in the United States Intercollegiate Lacrosse Association Coaches poll. Given the pressure this ranking might create, I wanted to offer guidance on pressure management.

Pressure Management

Pressure isn't your enemy—it's a powerful ally when properly understood. Like any formidable force, it demands your respect and conscious attention. When that weight settles on your shoulders before a crucial game, don't push it away. Instead, ask yourself two simple questions: "Do I understand exactly what's expected of me?" and "Have I prepared everything within my control?"

Your most powerful tool against overwhelming pressure is your breath. When tension mounts, use the settle-down breath technique—a slow, deliberate inhale through your nose for four counts, followed by a longer exhale through slightly parted lips. As you breathe, vividly picture yourself executing with precision: the perfect cradle, the defensive stance you've practiced hundreds of times, the endurance that will carry you through the fourth quarter when others falter. This isn't wishful thinking—it's mental reinforcement of the capabilities you've already built. When challenges inevitably arise during play, this preparation becomes your sanctuary, keeping you calm and confident when it matters most.

CJ Kirst (above) plays on Cornell’s Lacrosse team. A 2025 Men's Lacrosse top scorer and best player recently set a record with seven goals in a half.

Processing emotions means working through your feelings through three key stages:

1. Awareness

Recognize and acknowledge your emotional state without judgment—identify exactly what you're feeling and why. Develop the ability to prepare and focus on the feelings related to what is expected. Find confidence in seeing and feeling gratitude for the opportunity that the challenge represents.

Example: Many athletes use mindfulness to manage pressure, like Michael Jordan who reportedly counted his breaths and visualized successful shots before taking crucial free throws in championship games. Tennis champion Novak Djokovic often pauses between points, closing his eyes and practicing controlled breathing to reset his mental state when facing match points or break points. Olympic swimmer Katie Ledecky has described how she uses a pre-race routine of specific breathing patterns and mental imagery to quiet her mind and prepare her body for peak performance, even with the weight of gold medal expectations.

2. Acceptance

Embrace your emotions as valuable signals rather than obstacles, allowing yourself to fully experience them. Remember that you've been trained to perform with passion, express intensity, and execute skills with proper tempo, form, and timing according to the plan. Use performance breathing techniques to maintain control, oxygenate your body, and center your focus. Trust your ability to remain composed under pressure and focus on delivering your best effort when it matters most.

Example: Tennis star Rafael Nadal demonstrates acceptance beautifully in his approach to high-pressure moments. When facing match points or challenging situations, Nadal acknowledges his nervousness without fighting it, understanding these emotions are natural responses to competition. Rather than trying to eliminate these feelings, he incorporates them into his pre-point rituals—adjusting his shorts, aligning his water bottles, and using rhythmic breathing—which helps him channel his nervous energy productively. By accepting rather than resisting his emotional state, Nadal transforms potential anxiety into focused intensity, allowing him to execute his tactical plan with clarity even in the most stressful moments of Grand Slam finals.

3. Action

Mental strength and resilience enable the best decisions under pressure, converting emotional understanding into decisive, purposeful choices that align with your values and team goals.

Example: Well-trained athletes are conditioned to perform at their best when it counts the most, such as in overtime. Converting pressure into precise execution allows them to focus solely on the present moment, trusting their muscle memory, communicating effectively with teammates, and executing practiced strategies with confidence and determination.

These examples demonstrate how the awareness-acceptance-action progression transforms pressure from a potential hindrance into a performance enhancer, allowing individuals to perform at their highest level when it matters most.

"The greatest pressure comes from within. When you know you've prepared to the best of your ability, you can embrace the moment instead of fearing it." — Paul Rabil, professional lacrosse player and co-founder of the Premier Lacrosse League.

Paul played collegiate lacrosse at Johns Hopkins University. He earned All-America honors all four years and holds the record for most playoff goals, assists, and points. He won championships in 2005 and 2007. In 2007, he won the McLaughlin Award as the nation's best midfielder and was inducted into the Athletics Hall of Fame in 2022.

Experience as a Lacrosse Fan

As I reflect on my two years of lacrosse at Amityville High School, I gained a great deal of respect for the process of learning how to perform with the intensity required in lacrosse. This sport demands the ability to move at top speed while maintaining the awareness to control your effort. Unlike football, where you attempt to run through or over the opposing player, in lacrosse you have to be much more controlled.

The conditioning for this sport is extraordinary, and the training requires every bit of mental strength to find the truth of your commitment. I'm certain that my exposure to lacrosse helped me play football in the SEC and later become a coach's coach.

For our relative who plays for Cornell, I have the utmost respect for his ability to manage the energy needed to play the sport while successfully dealing with the rigors of such a demanding academic environment.

As for the pressure involved in being ranked No. 1, I would emphasize that it's a privilege to wear that target on your back. Being at the top isn't a burden—it's an honor earned through dedication and excellence. Embrace it. The greatest teams in history didn't shy away from their status; they wore it as a badge of honor and used it to elevate their performance even further.

I would love the opportunity to be involved in building the individual and team effort to digest the emotions of gratitude for the experience, passion to perfect the performance, and mental strength to endure the process and battle with distractions... and experience the satisfaction of having it all.

Go Big Red!